The First Slut
by Don Wrege
(Please note:This column was rejected and did not run on the site...)
What's the difference between a slut and a homewrecker? What's the difference
between sex and brushing your teeth with the president's penis? What's the
difference between "cause" and "desire?"
The first question presupposes that a home exists to be wrecked. I don't think
even the president himself would be able to provide an accurate assesment of the
number of women he has had, (let's say for his hair-splitting legalese benefit,
"physical contact" with), since beginning his political career. Determining who is
'first' is hopleless. Because of Monica's ability to achieve her goal within the
confines of The White House and within a heartbeat of Clinton's wifeMs.
Lewinsky has deftly earned the title of First Slut.
("Kneepads," her wordsee the transcript.)
The second and third questions are examples of how far laywers will go to use the
English language to trump the spirit of the law. It is afterall ,their job but there's
no sensible reason we should make it easy on them. In a semi-literate society
lawyers can obviously get away with confusing the common folk most of the time.
But time is running out and the strategies are becoming embarrassingly
transparent.
In my youth we had the Zapruder film as a document of a presidential
assasination. A special editon of LIFE Magazine came out about JFK's death and
my mother saved it next to the family photo albums.
In 1998 we get four hours of salacious and revealing videotape.
Instead of a Dallas motorcade, kids today watch presidential testimony in The Map
Room. A character assasination, but an assasination nonetheless. The nation
watches Clinton stuffs his Achilles Hell in his mouth.
Monica may not be the only woman Clinton enjoyed while the Commander in
Chief of The United States of America, but she was certainly the first to be tacky
enough to expose every sordid detail. This, my friend, makes her a slut. The First
Slut.
