Global Smarming
by Don Wrege
Our next president-by-default Al Gore's best bet for a campaign platform was
global warming. (That was before Clinton self destructed and he needed a
platform.)
We have met the enemy and it is air conditioners! The global warming theorists
suggest that, among other everyday conveniences, the friendly and reassuring hum
of a cooling unit is actually the drone of doom for us all. Next they'll suggest
it's caused by cigar smoke! Gore, et. al., want to put strict limits on our lives
and our businesses supposedly for, "the sake of our children's future."
But there seems to be some disagreement in the scientific world as to whether we
mortals are the cause of global warming or simply innocent bystanders.
Huge chunks of the world's population aren't going along for the politically
motivated global warming ride and will continue their industrious ways regardless
of how we hamstring ourselves here in America. The principal effect of Gore's
proposed policies would be to punish and penalize domestic industries while we
"provide a good example" for China's billion or so people. You can almost hear
them laughing from here.
The trusting citizens who follow this administration in lock step, who have
turned the presidency into a religion, want to hear a punishing sermon, not
scientific fact. The press can't be trusted to give equal play to both sides of
the story. "Scientists say we're doomed!" is too sexy a headline.
This administration has proved, if nothing else, that vast portions of the public
will believe anything you tell them. Then, even in the harsh light of hard
evidence, these believers will take the Leap of Faith into the realms of denial
and transferrance. "Cyclical seasonal changes? Posh! Al Gore says it's OUR fault
and WE have to do SOMETHING about it!"
So the stage is set for a charlatan to exploit such an eager flock. Al Gore, in
Sunday dress and preacherly tones delivers the hellfire message: "The sky is
falling, there's a hole in the ozone and we're all going to die a horrible
death!" (Unless, of course, you let Gore create some new federal agencies over
here and write a few new regulations over there.)
Only Al Gore can save us from ourselves is their message.
Witness his quick response to the recent deadly heat wave in Texas. Temperatures
had remainded in the triple digits for weeks. I was in Austin at the height of it
enjoying a Montecristo at a fine cigar bar near 6th Street. Texas was in trouble,
Al Gore and Washington to the rescue. Government agencies kicked into high gear.
Federal disaster aid funds were immediately made available to low-income Texans
so they could purchase--you guessed it-- air conditioners.
Light anyone?
