Billionaire Balloonists
by Don Wrege
What is it about being a multi-millionaire that makes one want to balloon around
the world? Aren't there better things to do? It's hardly the proverbial "history
books," that will trumpet this feat once it's accomplished; more like "The
Guiness Book of World Records." (We've been to Mars . . . ).
I would offer that the main reason these rich guys spend so much trying to
achieve something of such questionable scientific value is that it is fairly
risk-free yet it creates a grand commotion, nice pictures and great press. The
capsule they suffer in for the journey's duration is built better than the space
shuttle. These millionaires might have to squeeze their caviar out of a tube for
a week at worst.
The dangers? Ooooh! "Watch out ! We're drifting over communist China. Better
have our operatives following in the helicopter request that our circling
corporate jet contact the Chinese lobbyist in Washington via satellite so
appropriate arrangements can be made."
Heroic? Hardly.
The Chinese only have the brass to imprison political enemies and stubborn
students. The Chinese government certainly has nothing to gain by pissing off a
gondola full of American multi-millionaires. Where would the China purchase their
satellite technology if they lost the Most Favored Nation status president
Clinton restored by bursting our billionaires' balloon?
As for hostile weather conditions, the valiant group may be forced to the ground
only to be immediately retrieved by a James Bondian flock of friendly aircraft
and support personnel. Roughing it? Where? When?
So, swinging gently beneath hot air and cold gas, above a world of real life
street-level problems, incredibly rich white men blow millions trying to see who
can pee the farthest.
Light anyone?
